Who is the real me? Is it the person who cries or the person who laughs? The person who loved Bible college or the person who loves research? Is it the person who loved to goof off with other Bible college freshmen or the one who delighted in aceing a test? Is it the one who fell in love the first time, or the one who fell in love the second time? Is it the one who loves to stay home and read or the one who loves to travel? The one who doubts her own judgement or the one who is confident?
Who is the real me? Is it the one who just wants someone else to take care of it all or the one who rolls up her sleeves to help someone else? Is it the one who likes to have woken up early or the one who likes to sleep in? Is it the one who wants to be married and share a life together or the one who would rather just have it her own way and not have to compromise? Is it the person who didn't have the responsibility of children or the one who does? The one who worked earning an income or the one working to raise godly children?
Who is the real me? Am I the 'me' I was before something happened or am I the 'me' since it happened? Is the real me ever suppressed or is it just in a continual state of growth and change?
Here's what I think. I think it's ALL me. At whatever point I find myself in life, THAT is me. I also think that it probably doesn't actually matter much who the real me is, in a sense, because whoever I am needs to die and become whoever it is that God desires for me to be. Why would I ever want to return to a former 'me'? Ideally, that old 'me' is dying a little more each day and the newer 'me' is an improvement. In the end, it's not about me at all. It's about Jesus and who He intends for me to be. Like John the Baptist said: "He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30
Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Col.3:1-3
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2
But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.
Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil. 3:7-14