:by Cindee Nebeker:
It is in the heart of the natural man to pass judgement and inflict reproach. Because we recognize that tendency in ourselves, we also fear it at the hand of others. Satan knows this better than we do and he uses it to his advantage. He would rather see us trapped and isolated by the fear of shame and rejection than to see us confess our sin, our struggles, and our sorrows.
It's one thing to honestly open up to God about these things, but quite another to be that vulnerable with another fallible human being. It’s pretty scary. We have zero control over the way they handle whatever it is we tell them. Sometimes we have a choice about who we confide in. We can keep the circle small and tight and safe. That can be a very good decision.
Sometimes, we have no choice. The story is out there for all to see and judge. Again, very scary, but we have to realize that the reactions of others, while they absolutely affect us, have little to do with us. Their behavior is between them and God. If they react in an ungodly manner, that is a reproach on them, not on us.
I’m not referring to constructive criticism, or to godly reprimands. As Christians, we definitely are called to hold each other accountable. I’m talking about pointing fingers, placing blame, gossiping, and ostracizing instead of supporting, sympathizing, nurturing, and extending the love of God to those who are hurting.
When facing the fear of shame, I think it’s important to remember that all shame isn’t bad. The Holy Spirit definitely uses it tell us that something needs to be corrected, much like pain is a useful tool that helps keep us safe. Since Satan cannot create anything, his only recourse is to twist and pervert what God has already created and established. Therefore, Satan employs false guilt and shame. He attacks us with guilt and shame that aren’t actually ours to bear. He is making fraudulent charges to our account. It’s our job to say, in essence, “I don’t receive that. I didn’t make that purchase.”
To make matters worse, Satan doesn’t do this directly. He uses the people in our lives. People we love. People we respect. People whose opinions matter to us. It’s frightening to think those people might reject us, or think less of us. Satan loves to keep us in that fearful state because then he is in control and he is keeping us from a confident relationship with our Father God and with other believers.
Also important to remember is that it is not God’s intention that we bear these burdens. That’s why Jesus came. To take all that upon Himself. “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on Me.” (Romans 15:3) Do not accept blame, guilt, and accusation from either yourself or others that is not yours to carry. You have an Advocate. If you are in error, correct it. If you need to change or make an apology, then, by all means, do that! Otherwise, boldly reject the shame and reproach directed toward you.
I think the solution to this problem is in Ephesians 6:10-17. We must be protected with the Armor of God. It is His Belt of Truth that exposes the lies of the Deceiver. It is His Breastplate of Righteousness that guards our hearts from evil. It is His Shoes of Peace that readies us to go into whatever situation God leads us, gracefully spreading the gospel. It is His Shield of Faith that protects us against Satan’s fiery darts of fear, lies, and deceit. It is His Helmet of Salvation that that keeps our minds focused on Him. It is the Sword of the Spirit which defends against the Evil One.
The belt of truth will help expose the false guilt and shame. The breastplate of righteousness and the shield of faith will deflect the real and imagined judgmental looks and actions from others. (Satan will tell you that people are judging you even if they aren’t!) The helmet of salvation will keep your mind focused on Jesus and remind you of the TRUTH.
Practically speaking, I think it’s helpful to mentally work your way through the list and “put on” the armor.
BELT: Make a list of the truths regarding the situation and your thoughts about it. Sort out the truth from the lies.
BREASTPLATE: Remind your heart that you are safe and secure before God because you have been given the righteousness of Jesus.
SHOES: Remember that the Gospel of Peace has prepared you to walk with assurance into the situations of your life and spread the Good News.
SHIELD: Remember that, since you dwell in the shelter of the Most High, His faithfulness will shield and protect you. Psalm 91
HELMET: Remain focused on the only One whose opinion really matters. If other people have a different opinion of you, they are in opposition to God Almighty! “Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns?” Romans 8:33-34
SWORD: Abide in God’s Word. It’s the only weapon listed. “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17.
The verse in Ephesians right after this listing of the Armor of God, is a good one to end with: Ephesians 6:18 - “With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints”
Pray for yourself. Pray for the situation. Pray for your Christian brothers and sisters. Pray that God will cover everything with His peace, love, and unity and that the gospel will continue to go forth and that His will is accomplished. Pray to be the person and to find the persons that will embody Romans 15:7 – “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.”
